For weeks now, I have been so happy. It's not that life is perfect, nor is it that perception is reality; but definitely perception has an impact. There's such a difference if you can see the good things, focus on them, and delight in them, and also bear resolutely the unpleasant. When I sleep I feel connected to something deeper and vaster, something boundless and beautiful.

Sometimes I sort of wonder, if it's possible just to tune out certain things, like the wars, politics. Yes there are issues in the world, but is it my job to fix them? Yes there are power struggles. Is it my job to decide who is right and to make sure they win? Isn't that what causes the problems in the first place? Yes there is evil in the government, but should that be my cause? Or should I not worry about politics, because I can't stop them? I think I would go insane if I cared about politics.

I am under the impression that if I want to help others, then I first need to help myself. What is the ultimate good? I don't even know the ultimate good. I may have had glimpses - those guide me, and for that reason I try to do my best. But my goal is to know - to know myself. According to what I've experienced, what I desire is peace, and to get the peace is to be enilghtened. My experiences have shown that there is both bondage and freedom. Surely there is something which eliminates bonds? What is there that burns through karma - is it knowledge? Is it self-knowledge? So it is for this I seek.

Isn't doubt my primary obstacle? What could it be that keeps me from being free, from feeling?

And what is my nature - is it bounded, or boundless? Is it limited, or limitless? I can answer only for myself; my nature, my pure nature, below all twists and turns and false identifications, below all thoughts of self, beyond all, my source, is boundless. It is by doubt, and false identification, and maybe some other reasons that I feel separate, that I actually, that I barely feel.

What is the meaning of life? Evidently it is happiness. But happiness in the fullness of nature, health, well-being, fulfilment spiritually.

Isn't there a way of thinking which is best? Isn't there a way of thinking, a way of being, which is sure - which is strong, self-reliant; how may I rest in the source, live at the source, how may I stand upon the source? That is what I am seeking for. Though it may seem strange. I am seeking for self-knowledge, upon the assumption that the self is boundless; and I am seeking for that by which seeking is no longer needed.

If I am one with the universe, let it be known. I do not have an existence separate from the universe. No living being on the Earth, or anywhere in existence, does. I do not exist without the universe. I am but a reflection of the universe. Therefore, I am not this little body. I do not have an existence separate, I am but a reflection; therefore, the universe is my body.


A quote from Vivekananda...

'No breathing, no physical training of Yoga, nothing is of any use until you reach to the idea, "I am the Witness." Say, when the tyrant hand is on your neck, "I am the Witness! I am the Witness!" Say, "I am the Spirit! Nothing external can touch me." When evil thoughts arise, repeat that, give that sledge-hammer blow on their heads, "I am the Spirit! I am the Witness, the Ever-Blessed! I have no reason to do, no reason to suffer, I have finished with everything, I am the Witness. I am in my picture gallery — this universe is my museum, I am looking at these successive paintings. They are all beautiful. Whether good or evil. I see the marvellous skill, but it is all one. Infinite flames of the Great Painter!"'
-Vivekananda